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Will You Marry Me (Again)? The Rise of Divorce Regret

Will You Marry Me (Again)? The Rise of Divorce Regret

From The Guardian: Society tells us that love stories should be linear, that marriage is until death us do part. We’ve learned, though, that things are often a little more complicated. The average adult may have five relationships and fall in love with three people (bad news for two of the five, then). Divorce has recently neared the 50% rate in the UK, a percentage that is now falling, mostly because fewer can afford it. Despite these statistics, we are still fed the idea that the ultimate goal is to find “the one”. Is it any wonder then, that divorce is often viewed as a failure?

We see the “success stories” of life in long love and we wince at messy divorces – what we see less is the grey area in between. A large number of couples separate and then reunify, and a surprising amount also divorce and then remarry. The term “divorce regret” has been circulating recently after golfer Rory McIlroy called his marriage off and then back on. There are the notable couples who married, then did it all over again; Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Elon Musk and his ex, British actor Talulah Riley, walked down the aisle twice, too.

There’s also Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, who were engaged in 2002, separated for nearly two decades, then finally married in June 2022, 20 years after their initial engagement. This August, after two years of marriage, they divorced.

Yet the drama of the double wedding is not only for the rich and famous. Divorce followed by reunification is relatively common, with between 10 and 15% of couples reconciling after they separate and about 6% of couples marrying each other once again. One in 10 people who divorce say they regret it at some point. On Mumsnet, a user shares that she is thinking about divorcing her husband but is terrified she’ll regret it. Many share their own regret in response (except one, who writes: “Regret yeah… Regret not doing it 10 years earlier.”)

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